Hey everyone! I'm new here and would like to share my story. I hope it can help or inspire someone who is going through it. I know all to well that heroin causes pain and misery like no other. It is the most evil thing I have come across in my life. I started out using OxyContin when I was 17, at first it was just a weekend thing. That didn't last long, pills were becoming more expensive and harder to find. Then I met what I thought was the love of my life...heroin. I started stealing, scamming, lying, selling drugs to support my habit and taking advantage of every person in my life. I isolated, would just stay in my room shooting up dope all day everyday. My health was declining, I was losing so much weight from not eating properly. I would go days without showering, didn't give a crap about how horrible I looked. I'm going to share some lyrics from a song called "Phantom Bride" by the Deftones, i'm positive that most all heroin addicts can relate to this.
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For 9 years of using heroin, those lyrics are exactly how I felt. Although it's an amazing song, the true beauty is that now those lyrics are not relevent to my life now. In May of this year I just couldn't take it anymore. I checked myself into rehab and just celebrated 6 months clean. This is my first attempt at living a sober life and I will do everything in my power to make sure relapse is not a part of my story. I am truly the happiest I have been in years. I have a wonderful, loving, supportive family, a job that I enjoy with great co-workers and in the last 6 months I have met awesome people in recovery that have made a huge impact in my life. Not everyday is easy and I still have those thoughts, but i'll be damned if I let the devil win. I just want anyone who is struggling to know that there is hope and to not be afraid to reach out to someone. Someone out there needs you to keep living.💜
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Inside of this hole you create
You hide from yourself
You separate every belief that is true
And you spent your life
Attached to this poison
You don't feel anything out of the rain
And it's true that
You spend your life
Trapped in this void
Where you will stay always
Can't rid of this thought you rotting in
This same cold space
You don't want to feel anything new, you've decided
To spend your life safe from emotion
This way you'll never be harmed again or confused now"
For 9 years of using heroin, those lyrics are exactly how I felt. Although it's an amazing song, the true beauty is that now those lyrics are not relevent to my life now. In May of this year I just couldn't take it anymore. I checked myself into rehab and just celebrated 6 months clean. This is my first attempt at living a sober life and I will do everything in my power to make sure relapse is not a part of my story. I am truly the happiest I have been in years. I have a wonderful, loving, supportive family, a job that I enjoy with great co-workers and in the last 6 months I have met awesome people in recovery that have made a huge impact in my life. Not everyday is easy and I still have those thoughts, but i'll be damned if I let the devil win. I just want anyone who is struggling to know that there is hope and to not be afraid to reach out to someone. Someone out there needs you to keep living.💜
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