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Grieving mom

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  • Grieving mom

    I lost my son Matthew 7 yrs ago when he was 21 yo. At the time we thought his addiction was only a few years old. We were wrong. We found out after his death that he had started experimenting with mind altering substances at the age of 13. He started smoking weed that his friends parents grew out in the country. I do believe that MJ is a gateway drug. Don't attempt to change my mind please, just allow me to have my opinion. I'm also a nurse with over 25 YRS of ER experience. I will never forget the 20 yo who had been dead for hours, whose friends brought him in stiff dead to our ER! I'll never forget finding my son stiff dead in his bedroom. This is a horrible nightmare that never ends. I've learned to hide my grief for the most part, until last year when I had a "nervous breakdown" (old term, now they call it major depressive episode with generalized anxiety disorder) There was nothing generalized about it- I was suicidal. Thankfully I received help, but I had good insurance. Until we get public funded addiction centers in this country & treat this as a disease& not a criminal act, we will not help a lot of good people wha are addicted to this horrible drug. I firmly believe that the heroin is being supplied not only for profit, but also for the terrorists who want to destroy our country & our youth. By destroying generations of our youth we will no longer have a country that can defend itself in the USA. This is probably true of many democratic countries. Why spend money on guns, bombs, soldiers,; when all they need to do is destroy those who would fight them in armed combat. Our family is broken, my husband & daughter try to be a normal family. Unfortunately we are only deluding ourselves. We have Christ in our heart & pray for the day that we will see him again before God, as I believe that God saves us all & we will be together as a family when we are released from our earthly life. I'm not a zealot, just a simple Christian women. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

  • #2

    Welcome to our heroin addiction and recovery discussion forum. I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of your son. It's always tragic when addiction takes a life no matter how old they were, but 21 is so young. Like you, I actually don't believe that marijuana is a gateway drug. In fact, I don't believe in the gateway drug theory. I believe in more of a "gateway personality" even though I don't pretend that's a technical term. But those with a genetic predisposition to addiction may enjoy takes of euphoria that a particular drug brings them and be compelled to try other drugs, not because of the "drug" they tried first but because of the lower levels of natural dopamine in their bloodstream. But nonetheless, we certainly don't try to convince people that a particular opinion of theirs is wrong or right. We always welcome opinions whether they agree or disagree with ours.

    I am sorry for all you've been through but I was and am encouraged to read the last few sentences about you coming to Christ. As a Christian, I've declared Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior and despite a lot of the hardship I've experienced and continue to experience, I believe it is He who has gotten me and continues to get me through. I trust He has done the same for you and your family.

    Feel free to read some of the topic on this forum and participate to any you connect with. Or you are welcome to continue writing your own. We're glad to have you hear :-).

    Best wishes,

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    I do my best to educate myself regarding addiction and recovery related issue, treatment options, etc. however, I am not a medical professional. All opinions are my own and any advice you take from me is at your own risk and discretion


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