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At the end of my rope

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  • At the end of my rope

    Just a couple of days ago I wrote about my son's update on recovery. He is my youngest and still doing great. It is my oldest. He will be 38 in November and has been giving me grief since he was 15. He is a meth addict. Doesn't touch the heroin tried it and first withdrawal said nope never again. Well he got arrested today again for the I don't know it has been so many times. He should write a book on jails in the Northwest he has been in 9 jails in Oregon that I know of prison twice in Oregon jail in Boise, Twin Falls Id, Ogden Utah, Kingman Arizona, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Orange County jail which is the one he is in now. He has never committed a violent crime all related to drugs, driving violations, warrants. He needs to straighten his life out and he is a smart kid just no common sense. He has never been in rehab. He only snorts meth has never shot up. Doesn't even like to smoke it. I think the first step he needs to take is long term treatment. He isn't a very good candidate for it though. He never got in trouble in jail or prison followed all the rules. If anyone out there has any suggestions on how to get him to agree to treatment please advise me. He is really stubborn and once he makes his mind up on something there is no use trying to change it. He has a lot of issues he needs to deal with, the death of his dad, his many mistakes, his bad choices, his insecurity the list goes on. Please help me before I lose my sanity. Should be use to it by now but it never gets any easier because he has wasted most of his life and he knows that and that is another issue he needs to face and deal with and do something about. Thank you.

    Sissybrat

  • #2
    Sissybrat,

    I am glad to hear that your youngest son is still doing well, at first I thought maybe you were going to tell us that he had relapsed. I am glad to hear that he has not. As for your oldest son, I'm sorry to hear that he still struggles with meth addiction. Unfortunately, there's really no formula that I can give you that will convince him to get into treatment. He honestly needs to be ready. That said, I can share some articles with you about tough loss versus genuine love versus enabling and all that. And then you can draw your own conclusions on how to treat him. At the end of the day, I think encouraging him each time you see him to get into treatment is the best method. Don't enable him unfortunately, there's really no formula that I can give you that will convince him to get into treatment. He honestly needs to be ready. That said, I can share some articles with you about tough loss versus genuine love versus enabling and all that. And then you can draw your own conclusions on how to treat him. At the end of the day, I think encouraging him each time you see him to get into treatment is the best method. Don't enable him by giving him any money, but I'm not going to tell you whether or not to house him. That's going to be something that you are going to have to decide.

    Below I have provided some links to articles that might help you.

    http://killtheheroinepidemicnationwi...ing-an-addict/

    http://killtheheroinepidemicnationwi...rug-addiction/

    http://killtheheroinepidemicnationwi...ct-asks-money/

    http://killtheheroinepidemicnationwi...abling-addict/

    http://killtheheroinepidemicnationwi...l-said-mother/

    I apologize, I would normally put the names of each article and hotlink the URL but I'm using my cell phone as not really easy to do that. But some of these articles might help give you some suggestions on how to handle him although there is no perfect formula. You will have to know the individual and decide accordingly what is best to encourage him to get into treatment.

    Peace and love,

    William
    Publisher of Kill the Heroin Epidemic Nationwide™, Heroin News and the National Alliance of Addiction Treatment Centers.

    Find a Prescreened Addiction Treatment Center & Drug Rehab Facility

    Visit our Heroin Addiction & Recovery Blog for daily articles.

    I do my best to educate myself regarding addiction and recovery related issue, treatment options, etc. however, I am not a medical professional. All opinions are my own and any advice you take from me is at your own risk and discretion

    Comment


    • #3
      Did you get a chance to read any of the articles I shared with you? I know it's overwhelming and inundating but information I'm sharing is good info. It might just help you with knowing how to respond to him.

      Peace and love,

      William
      Publisher of Kill the Heroin Epidemic Nationwide™, Heroin News and the National Alliance of Addiction Treatment Centers.

      Find a Prescreened Addiction Treatment Center & Drug Rehab Facility

      Visit our Heroin Addiction & Recovery Blog for daily articles.

      I do my best to educate myself regarding addiction and recovery related issue, treatment options, etc. however, I am not a medical professional. All opinions are my own and any advice you take from me is at your own risk and discretion

      Comment


      • #4
        Sorry William I haven't had time to read those articles yet but will make time. I have had so much on my mind lately I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. Not the boys, well my oldest is worrying me but my life in general is in such a rut and can't seem to fix it. Hugs Sissybrat

        Comment


        • #5
          Sissybrat I have the same exact issue as you my oldest son as a heroin addict and he's very stubborn and it's been an ongoing thing for a while I struggle with this everyday as you and it doesn't get any easier I keep telling him to go to rehab but he always seems to end up back in jail and like you he's fine when he's in jail does no wrong does everything they say he gets out and starts all over again I just don't understand how he can be in jail 4 years never touch the stuff come out and he's right back at it I don't want to lose my son he's 31 years old and they just seems like there's no way out I'm glad that I found this site so now I know that I'm not alone thank you for sharing and I'll be praying for you and your son

          Comment


          • #6
            Hottnana66 It is a on going problem with my oldest who is 37 going to be 38 in November but has the brain of a 5 year old. He has been ignoring me since he got out of jail last week was suppose to do 38 days got out in 2 weeks or less. He is suppose to be in Phoenix on 6 months probation for a felon in possession of firearm in 2011. He was on a Interstate compact which is a probation transferred to another state. He got 3 years initially for that charge in 2011. He came back to Oregon and I swear every cop in town knows him and wants his ass back in prison. He has been locked up in prison 2 times. I swear he has spent more time in jails and prison than out. I will write you later right now just can't deal with this. Prayers for you and your son. They say its never too late I just don't know. So frustrated with him especially when he has people who truly care for him and want to help him and he is pulling away from them and hanging with trash and trying to act like a gangster down in LA it's like he wants to get arrested with all the crap he pulls. What really breaks my heart he is such a good hearted man hiding behind a tough exterior with a heart of gold and would do anything for you. He had so much potential and has wasted so much of his life. He loves kids and wants them badly but the last girlfriend he had didn't have a maternal bone in her body. He still loves her and she is here and hooked on heroin bad. Living with one of his friends. It's just a disaster and a mess. So anyway he is violating probation in Phoenix and if and when they catch up to him it could be 2 years in a Arizona prison which not a pleasant place I've heard. He has been in tent city there twice. He left bc that piece of shit girlfriend was suppose to come and be with him but no show so he left and went to Southern Cal. Worse place he could be besides here where he always gets in trouble. I will talk with you later. Just don't want to deal and think about this now. Sorry. Prayers and Hugs.

            Comment


            • #7
              Sissybrat,

              I just wanted to post and ask if there is any update on your situation. I’ve been thinking and praying about you and I really hope that things are starting to improve. If there’s anything we can do, please let us know.

              Peace and love,

              William
              Publisher of Kill the Heroin Epidemic Nationwide™, Heroin News and the National Alliance of Addiction Treatment Centers.

              Find a Prescreened Addiction Treatment Center & Drug Rehab Facility

              Visit our Heroin Addiction & Recovery Blog for daily articles.

              I do my best to educate myself regarding addiction and recovery related issue, treatment options, etc. however, I am not a medical professional. All opinions are my own and any advice you take from me is at your own risk and discretion

              Comment


              • #8
                William sorry my reply is so late. Nothing has really changed with my oldest meth addict. He is doing much better than when he first got here from Calif. end of Sept 2017. He brought this friend of his and she is an heroin addict for years but now she is off the heroin and into meth and weed and who knows what else. She had never been out of her town in Calif. and she begged my son to bring her with him. She stayed here for about a month or 2 and I was going crazy. My son and her are just friends he is still in love with his heroin addicted girlfriend of 3 plus years. That is another mystery why??? She has did him wrong so many times is a pathological liar and will have sex with anyone for drugs. This is such a long story I sure you get confused but since his friend went back to Calif. he is doing better but still using meth and cough syrup codeine whip its which I absolutely hate they scare me more than anything. He drove a UHaul for a friend that lived in Calif. that was moving up here. He is a very good influence on my son. Has never did meth only smokes weed. He opened a dispensary here and doing well. He paid for a bus ticket for that girl to go back home, wanted my son away from her. They have been friends for years and have had there ups and down and hadn't talked for 3 or more years bc he had did everything he could to get my son back on track to no avail. He is responsible and his wife is a sweetheart they have two young children and they adore my son. They know the real man behind his tough exterior and he is temporarily staying at their house only for a while bc his friend knows my son's lifestyle and doesn't want his kids and wife or himself exposed to it. They have helped him in many ways and I'm so glad they are friends again so my son can see that there is a life w/o drugs. Will try to get on here more often. Take care Sissybrat.

                Comment

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